So yesterday I got asked about relationships for travellers and how they work for people who don’t just want sex. It’s not something I really think about all the time, so I didn’t have a lot of answers for him. But it’s a good question and thinking about it, my work has changed the way I see relationships over time.
I used to see them how everybody does where I’m from, in that small town kind of way. Living life and not really looking for anyone, but keeping a weather eye whenever I’m out of with people just incase i meet someone awesome. But over the last couple years it’s changed quite a lot to suit my changed lifestyle. I’ve always been consciously aware that I’m always in a different place, traveling and such, but it’s like I’ve slowly realised subconsciously and it’s allowed me to change the way I view people and relationships. For one thing I’ve begun being able to let people go and move on with life which is something that hasn’t been a strength of mine in the years leading up to this.
Talking more specifically about my time working aboard a ship it’s definitely true that people date differently in an environment like that. I would like to officially counter every biography and ‘tell all’ book out there that says we’re all having crazy random sex all the time, it’s not like that. People have relationships, people date and people take it slow, but it’s still different. Even the most attached of people have lost the subconscious thought going into it that it might lead to marriage, people think it successful if it lasts longer than one contract.
People on the ships are having long meaningful relationships though, don’t get me wrong on that, but I think less people are expecting them to be long and meaningful. We’re all from different countries and it’s really tough to be separated, which is just going to happen. Although I have a couple friends who are married, one is from Brazil and one is from Australia and they’ve been successfully married for years alternating countries and having a blast doing it, so theres no definitive answer.
Living like a pirate on the seas works fine when your away, but eventually you’ve got to come home, you’ve got to visit that small town and remember how you use to be. I think it’s great that people are living how they are, dating how they are with their high hopes and dreams, although I don’t envy how much harder they crash when it’s over. I dare say people who live on a ship crash a lot softer when things don’t work out.
But I think I can return to that once this is all over, once I’ve picked a country and I settle down I think I can morph the two ways of thinking together. I can go into a relationship hoping it will work out long term but now being very aware of that hope, have no hopes lurking beneath the surface where I can’t see. I think I can bring the strength of the sea with the vulnerability of land, although when I worked on the land for Disney I lived pretty much the same way as I live at sea so I guess it remains to be seen.
So to answer my friend’s question, just like on land I think the variety of relationships at sea are too vast to sum up and generalise to strongly. I don’t believe theres necessarily more sex, but because of the confined space and limited people the sex is less secret. There are just as many committed relationships except there is far more long distance elements than people will have to deal with on land. Also these committed relationships may be shorter. And I think there are less tears when breakups happen, however more bitterness, especially if you can’t distance yourself from the person that hurt you.
Relationships will be done differently around the world depending on location, culture and lifestyle, but the only thing I insist on as many people as I can is to travel. If you can marry young and still travel than do it, if you have to stay single to travel then stay single! I’m not going to push it, but I don’t believe life can truly be lived if you’ve never left your own backyard. Your living in a prison within your mind with walls built by your own ignorance of other people and culture, theres a whole beautiful world out there with so much to teach you!
Thats enough rambling for now but I’d love to hear what you think 🙂 Have a great one and don’t forget to subscribe! There’s lots more good stuff and we’d love to have you around 🙂
I’ll catch you later.